We left Asunción last Friday morning with Malvina Duarte who is the land owner at Laguna Blanca and was going to visit for the weekend anyway. We also took some hungover Swedes who were touring around Paraguay, adding flavour to our multicultural soup.
I don't really know how to describe Laguna Blanca as a place. You really have to see it to believe it. It is like what you imagine paradise would be like. Clear blue water, pure white sand, wooden structures to hang your hammock from, volleyball nets, fans, brick BBQs, beer and internet.
We arrived on Friday afternoon and pretty much climbed straight onto the back of a horse. According to Jeni (who knows something about horses), horse riding in South America is very different to in Europe. Here you just kind of perch on the back of the horse and hope that he understands where you want to go. The men who work at Laguna Blanca expected that we knew what we were doing and didn't seem to think it was necessary to explain to us how you drive a horse. Me and my horse weren't talking the same language at all. He just wanted to walk slowly into the shade and stay there. The main problem with that was that the shade was most likely under a tree and he didn't understand that I didn't fit under the tree as well as he did, so I came out the other end with half the skin left on my arms.
Later on, after a bit of discussion, we decided to have another go and take the Swedes with us. My horse decided to just start walking along the beach and not stop. I thought I was doing really well until I realised I was completely out of control. Jeni's horse decided it wanted to take the scenic route along the beach and zigzagged through the trees and eventually headed straight into the Laguna. Nils's (one of the Swedes) horse wanted a drink, so went to stand in the stream for a while then went back into the stable, while Viktor (the other Swede)'s horse decided to start running towards the house, completely freaking him out and ensuring he would never get on a horse for the rest of his life. After some explaining, one of the stable guys came with Jeni and Nils along the trail with Nils' horse attached to his own until they eventually overtook me and my plodding beauty. I was so slow that the guy constructed a whip for me out of wood that I only used once, then showed it to the horse every time I wanted him to go faster and he obeyed! Success at last - to an extent. I then realised that going fast wasn't as much fun as the experts were making it look. Its very bouncy which I found ridiculously funny for about ten minutes, then realised my legs might be slowly snapping. You just have to hang on and hope you don't bounce right off. After 3 hours of horse riding its difficult to walk. That's why I was so glad when the locals challenged me, Nils, Viktor and another Paraguayan guy to a game of volleyball. I think I spent more time on my ass in the sand than I did on my feet. Maybe I am getting old, but its just so hard to move as fast as a ball in the sand! Needless to say, we lost the game (but not by much) and had to buy the beer.
The next day we woke up to a TV crew filming a cooking show at breakfast. The show is called Sabores Y Mas and stars a rather large chef called Julio and his hand puppet. I couldn't believe my eyes. Let me try and explain the scene. There was a puppet operated by a man speaking in a stupid voice being filmed talking to a chef cooking fish and mandioca advertising an electric back massager, which was going to be broadcast on normal TV in Paraguay at the table next to where I was eating breakfast. I had just got over this strange sight when the chef asked if he could use our table. I offered to move, but he said he wanted us to stay where we were so that he could interview Jeni and I as part of the program. I tried to explain that my Spanish isn't good enough for national TV, but he was insistent so I stayed and ended up answering questions. Some were easy questions like "where are you from?" and "why do you like Paraguay?". Some others I don't even know the answers to in English never mind in Spanish such as "why is it important to save habitats from destruction?" and "what will be the next stage of your scientific studies here after you have have created an inventory of all the species?" Bear in mind that this is a three way conversation between me, the chef and a puppet. The worst thing is, I think the puppet was actually making fun of me!
Then we went kayaking. The Laguna is 2km long and about 1km wide and we made it round the whole thing in 2 hours. I have no idea if that is fast or not, but it was too long and Nils and I got totally burnt which took care of the remaining skin on my arms. We left Laguna Blanca destroyed. I couldn't sit down from the hours I spent on the horse and couldn't stand up from the hours I spent in the kayak. It was a really fantastic weekend.
On the way home on Sunday, as part of a test run since I will have to drive up there next week, Malvina gave me a shot of her 4x4 on the dirt road. It was amazing, like a rally. I only messed up once and banked into a big sand pile because a second 4x4 was coming towards me on a one track bit of road and he was bigger than me, so I chickened out. We only had to push a bit to get going again, in the boiling heat, with sore, burnt bodies.
I really can't wait to go back. Bring on Sunday.
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